Contact us to manage negative emotions and
solve relationship problems.
Are you entangled in difficult relationships or painful emotions?
Do you still suffer the consequences of your childhood?
Single parents have many challenges, including
some that they cannot solve. Some lack the knowledge or resources for
fulfilling parenthood. Custodial parents have the practical
problems of parenthood, while non-custodial parents may suffer from not being with
Healthy parenthood requires intensive effort from both
parents. Caring for children, from their physical health, though their
schooling to their social behavior, requires intense commitment.
Lack of parental support may precede future arrogance, aggression, withdrawal
and dysfunctional behavior!
Do you believe that your children create their
own reality; do you allow your children to deal with their life
challenges without guidance? Do you forget to care, especially during
a difficult separation? Do you use your children as bargaining pawns
(see parental alienation syndrome).
For whatever reason, some people may be unable or unwilling to
care for a child. Perhaps they divorced or perhaps a
partner died or left. Perhaps the pregnancy was accidental (although, if you
didn't arrange an abortion, you avoid unpleasant
consequences of abortion.)
We help single parents deal with deep overwhelming
emotions and recover inner strength. You can do this in workshops, individual
meetings or with telephone support. We present Single Parenting workshops,
and we provide single parent coaching and consultations.
Everybody told me to give my
children support and love. But I felt miserable about my
divorce and almost crazy from guilt about an abortion. During our
sessions, I cleaned up my misery and guilt - and now I
can love and support my children. Innsbruck, Austria
. Partnership Coaching
Pregnancy and the birth of children represent an awesome
responsibility - and an awesome potential for joyful fulfillment - and an
awesome loss of freedom. Your children probably enjoy a more permissive
childhood than you did, which can provoke predictable challenges.
parent families and blended families
are more common and accepted now, your challenges as a single parent may
be very different to your parents' challenges. If you feel overwhelmed -
if you don't know how to cope - we offer support. Some basic rules are:
- Take care of your children ... and yourself
- Balance your time with your children's time
- Enjoy a loving relationship with your children
- Help your children grow to independent adulthood
Many single parents still care for their ex-partners. If a partner has died,
we can help you through the grief. If you have separated, we can help you
understand your partnership breakdown, manage your entanglements and move on.
We can help you solve relationship problems and create
Single Parent Coaching
Our single parent coaching helps single parents solve
parenting problems. Single parent coaching can recognize and support
your individual and your family happiness. We offer you easy access to coaching support and you can enjoy another
perspective as you cope with difficult situations.
A 2004* study of nearly 3000 mothers of young children found that mothers
with food insecurity have a 53% higher incidence of depression,
with depressive disorders lasting an average of about a year. (*Casey - Pediatrics 113, 298–304)
If you feel depressed, please
visit a medical doctor before you contact us.
The two events most likely to trigger a single mothers'
depression are increased stress and decreased support. Yet
single mothers may say that they lack the time and energy to reduce their stress and increase
Many men have a fix and protect attitude.
Men may listen long enough to identify a problem, and then focus on
solutions or protection. Children may not want ready-made solutions;
they often prefer coaching that helps them protect themselves and solve
their own problems.
If you over-protect or over-fix, your children may rebel
against you or become dependent on you. You can allow or encourage limited risks
that help your children learn confidence as they learn to succeed.
Like most single parents, you are probably creative and
resourceful! You have to be. It's love, duty, hard work and often enough,
little sleep for single parents. We can help you:
- Keep a sense of humor.
- Befriend your inner critics.
- Forgive yourself and others.
- Seek help for any guilt or depression.
- Let your children do what they can for themselves.
- List your stressors. Decide what you can control and focus, first.
- Avoid clutter and recycle household items.
Get your kids involved.
- Remember deep breathing, taking mental holidays,
enjoying a shower etc
Single Parents & Dating
After your partnership ended, you may feel that you lack
time and energy for dating. And, if your children do not want a new parent,
they may sabotage your efforts. Also, some charming male predators (often
mother's boys) target single
mothers for short-term sexual activity.
A few questions ...
- Have you healed? A new relationship may be tempting,
especially to avoid the pain
of a break-up. Give yourself time to heal and to rebuild your life.
- Have you family routines?
Children enjoy consistency. Family routines can increase security.
- Who is most important?
Children may resent your new relationship if they feel more ignored.
- Is there long-term potential? Assess
a relationship before you introduce a new person to your
children, consider their confusion and desire for security.
- Can you go slowly? Perhaps introduce the children
to a new potential partner before arranging family activities. A person worth
having in your life will understand your need to be careful.
- What about sex? Avoid disturbing your children
with this side of your life.
- How can you feel ready for potential friends
and partners? Contact us.
Contact us to resolve emotional and
Online Coaching, Relationship Counseling & Systemic Therapy
I thought you were just
another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers, All rights reserved 2004-2018