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Judgments & Prejudices are Reminders to Heal Yourself
By Kelly Lynn Ford

Online Life Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

Judgment here is not a judgment in a court of law, nor making sound decisions.
A judgment is when you pre-judge someone or something to be wrong.
 Kelly Lynn Ford


Kelly Lynn Ford integrates success coaching and psychology. Kelly's work
on evaluating projections when solving communication problems is both
insightful and effective.

Martyn Carruthers

You may think that you see a person’s behavior or situation clearly but when you judge someone or something, this indicates that you are projecting your unresolved, unconscious issues onto them, and then seeing your distortions. This function of your sub-conscious mind is a signal from Soul that it’s time to bring an issue to awareness; it's an opportunity to heal yourself and your relationships.

You’ve probably heard, “When you point a finger at someone, you point three fingers at yourself!” Or perhaps you know, “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” (Luke 6:41) By identifying and owning projections we reclaim our fragmented energies in service to experiencing our true nature: wholeness.

How Projections Work …

Projection is a function of your sub-conscious mind - you project parts of yourself that you have disowned or rejected onto people or situations. It’s like being in a movie theater: the movie screen is the neutral world around you, and you are the projector. The film is within you complete with pictures, scripts, dialogue and story lines. You then project your internal films onto the external world. You collected the material for this film during childhood imprinting, and from your family history and culture, perhaps even from past lives (if you believe in them).

At any moment there is huge amount of sensory information available. You probably deal with this information overload by filtering or evaluating experiences to match with what you already believe to be true. Some ways to evaluate your projections is to consider them to be filters or prejudices or entanglements or enmeshments.

If the world were really the way you believe it is,
wouldn’t everyone experience it exactly as you do?

Have you ever gone to a party with friends, and at the end of the evening, you found that all of you had different perspectives of the party? You each brought your unique perspectives, beliefs, values and prejudices to the party. These are the filters through which you evaluated your world.

Have you experienced being in relationship with a person who seemed completely different to other people’s description of that same person?

With the awareness that you project your prejudices onto the outside world, you can tap into and work with a true source of power. Anytime you feel angry, resentful, helpless, hopeless, make excuses or blame someone, you have an opportunity to heal imbalances in yourself. Rather than trying to change a person or situation (your movie screen) and feeling stuck in anger, blame, etc, you can go within and evaluate what you are projecting! You can change your prejudices and beliefs!

If you change the filters you look through,
you change your world!

Life is Cooperation

It seems likely that other people can sense your projections (probably through your non-verbal communication or body-language) and act out what you believe. Attempting to change other people is futile, it is a false sense of power when you attempt to control or manipulate the external world. True empowerment and the ability to effect change lies within you.

Assume that people and situations in your life are in cooperation with you and can assist you to clear and heal unresolved issues in your unconscious mind. From a spiritual perspective, there seems to be an underlying agreement to support one another in health and happiness.

It's amazing how quickly your world changes,
as soon as you change yourself!

Are you willing to observe yourself and notice when you are casting judgments, acknowledge that you are projecting and ask yourself, “What is it that bothers me about this person or situation?" If your outer reality is a reflection of your inner reality, you can ask, "What is my unconscious mirroring back for me to see?” The answers may not be obvious at first, but come easier with practice.

Do You Want Results?

Projection has much in common with transference and transference loops, in which you perceive a person as someone or something else, based on your past experiences. See trauma and abuse.

Be patient with yourself and others, and perhaps ask for help from Soul to identify and manage projection. Be generous with yourself and others and assume that your life experience and everyone in it are in complete and total service to your healing and evolution as a human being.

When asked if the Universe was a friendly place or not,
Einstein said “It’s up to you.”

There is an eye of the Soul that is more precious than ten thousand bodily eyes,
for with it alone can one know the truth
– Plato

Emotional Blackmail . Parental Alienation . Emotional Incest

Online Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Kelly Lynn Ford 2009 All rights reserved. Email

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Have You Suffered Enough?

 Where are you now? Understand your emotions, fixations and enmeshments
What do you hope for? Know your goals and stop sabotaging yourself
Do you feel resourceful? Learn to develop your inner resources
Do emotions block you? Relationship problems and mentor damage
Do your beliefs limit you? Change limiting beliefs and end dependence
Do you feel connected? Resolve identity issues to recover lost resources
Is your partner happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully)
Are your children healthy? Happy parents better manage family problems
Do you want team success? Team leaders and their teams develop together
Do you have complex goals? Specialty coaching, counseling & therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2018  All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers to help people solve emotional problems and relationship conflicts to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work - email