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Solutions for a Midlife Crisis
Middle Ages Martyn Carruthers

Online Life Coaching & Training for Mid-Life Crisis


As young adulthood ends, many people worry about their unfulfilled goals and aging bodies. They may feel trapped with a sense that time is running out. They may describe inner chaos and a feeling that they must do something extreme to regain their sanity, passion and sense of control.

We can help you evaluate your life and tame your demons.
We can help you improve your relationships and define new goals.

Solutions for Middle Age Crisis (Temporary Insanity)

The children are growing up and retirement is on the horizon. For some people, this part of life's journey can be a time of despair, a time of disillusionment, emotional breakdown and depression ... and some people make terrible decisions.

Sooner or later, you will find yourself facing a significant transition or major life decision. Some people call this transition a dark night of the soul.

Your article on midlife crisis shocked me. I thought that my problems were unique.
While I was happy to find you, I was disappointed that my sense of doom was rather common and that you knew me so well, having never met me before.
Scotland

During middle age, most people re-evaluate their lives and review their ambitions. They may question their accomplishments and contemplate the approach of their own deaths. They check whether or not they are content and they often compare what was previously important with what they want now.

You called it temporary insanity and you weren't joking! I thought a mid life crisis was a joke, but I spent the last few months on the edge of a nervous breakdown, with inner demons urging me to leave my family, my work and even my country. Austria

This crisis may be intensified by an empty nest, referring to the loneliness that many parents feel when a last or only child leaves home. The role of parent to children is nearly over, and the role of grand-parent has not yet started.

Please consider:

  1. Do you seek inner peace?
  2. Do you want to feel effective?
  3. Do you long for more adventure?
  4. Do you yearn to feel in love again?
  5. Do you want to regain your enthusiasm?
  6. Do you want to feel passion instead of routine?

If you find yourself saying "Yes! Yes! Yes!", you may be feeling dissatisfied with your life, your age and your achievements. This is a dangerous time if you respond with despair and anger, or if you make hasty life-changing decisions.

I was lost in strong emotions, strange ideas, weird theories and peculiar beliefs.
I acted like a mid-life teenager and made some very bad decisions that I
deeply regret. Thanks for helping me put my life in order so that I can move on.

Common Reactions to Mid Life Crisis

  1. Taking financial risks
  2. Becoming a sex addict
  3. Starting dangerous sports
  4. Leaving a partner or family
  5. Leaving stable work to travel abroad

I have most of what I wanted. I have a wonderful partner and great children. Yet I was considering leaving my family, to travel abroad to some unknown place where some mysterious soul mate might be waiting for me. Thanks for helping me. London

If parts of you feel dissatisfied, confused or discontent, we can coach you to integrate your parts ... and their resources. We can help you integrate your passions into your life, and make the changes that you yearn for.

There are reasons people feel confused and discontent during middle-age:

  1. You realize that old age and inevitable death are approaching.
  2. Your life may have become a set of routines that you do not enjoy.
  3. The distractions that you liked when you were younger are no longer fun.
  4. You cannot answer questions like, "What is my life for? or What is my legacy?"

We can help you manage negative emotions, solve relationship problems and end bad habits. We can help you change enmeshments. We can take time to understand you, and help you find your emotional freedom and rebuild your sense of life.

Do you want to change your habits and build a happier life?
We can support you every step of your way.

Put a Mid-Life Crisis Behind You

Have you lost your dreams? Do you feel despair? Do you feel alone? We can help you

  1. Discover what makes you happy now.
  2. Assess your values, strengths and beliefs.
  3. Evaluate your priorities and balance your life.
  4. Know your goals and build a vision for what you want.

I had a conflict about whether to stay with my family or to freely travel around the world. I was elated when you helped me sort that out, but then I felt huge sadness for my lost youth and huge anger for wasting time feeling sad!  Frankfurt, Germany

Do you want to start life again? Do you have good ideas, but you procrastinate or sabotage yourself? We can help you keep your goals and plans alive ... and create new goals ... and achieve them.

From Midlife Crisis to Peaceful Maturity

A Midlife Crisis is often a period of dramatic self-doubt during middle age. It may occur as people sense the passing of their youthful energy, and feel the reality of approaching old age. During this period, middle aged adults may become predictably unpredictable.

The "9" years can be particularly dangerous! Ages (and especially birthdays) of 29, 39, 49 and 59 often symbolize life changes, and may trigger suffering and depression instead of pleasure and pride.

There may be strong desires to significantly change everyday life, such as a career change, a marriage change, expensive purchases, or physical appearance. Some people have huge desires for intimate or sexual affairs, or to feel in love again.

What do you really want? And, if possible, how can you get what you really want? Here are some steps that may help you manage a middle-life crisis:

Solutions for Negative Emotions

Some people relive earlier disappointments again and again, dwelling on how they should have made different decisions. We help people deal with:

  • Anger: aggression, rage, frustration, blame, irritation, suspicion
  • Depression; lack of interest; low-self-esteem; thoughts of self-harm
  • Dissociated: feeling empty, lost, aware of missing qualities or skills
  • Sadness; loneliness; frequent crying; mood swings; feeling helpless
  • Conflict: mood swings, volatile changing emotions, incompatible goals
  • Fear: anxiety, panic attacks; fears and/or phobias; social fears, shyness

Solutions for Middle Age Behaviors

Avoid withdrawing into isolation. We can help you be assertive without being perfectionist. Manage any hyperactive and irritable reactions. Avoid aggressive or self-harm. Let your lower sex drive lead to increased intimacy ... rather than to frustration.

All my life I loved women. Nothing was better than the chase. When that excitement
began to fade, I felt empty. You helped me sort out my sex addiction, solve
relationship problems and begin worthwhile projects.
New York

We can help you deal with the emotional turmoil
and mental chaos often called a mid-life crisis.

Online Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

I thought you were just another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 2007-2017 All rights reserved


If you like our work, please link to us. If you know someone who might benefit,
please mention www.SystemicPsychology.com or www.EmotionsRelationships.com

For online help, email us at: europecoach@gmail.com

Soulwork systemic coaching in America & Hawaii

 

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Have You Suffered Enough?

 Where are you now? Understand your emotions, fixations and enmeshments
What do you hope for? Know your goals and stop sabotaging yourself
Do you feel resourceful? Learn to develop your inner resources
Do emotions block you? Relationship problems and mentor damage
Do your beliefs limit you? Change limiting beliefs and end dependence
Do you feel connected? Resolve identity issues to recover lost resources
Is your partner happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully)
Are your children healthy? Happy parents better manage family problems
Do you want team success? Team leaders and their teams develop together
Do you have complex goals? Specialty coaching, counseling & therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 1996-2017 All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers to help people solve emotional problems and relationship conflicts to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work - email europecoach@gmail.com