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Solutions for Impotence & Frigidity
Emotional Blocks to Sex Martyn Carruthers

Online Life Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

Are you entangled in relationship problems or painful emotions?
Do you suffer from your parents' drama or your partner's moods?
We help people manage their emotions and untangle their lives.

Partnership Problems

Male impotence and female frigidity are common partnership problems. Both refer to an inability to enjoy normal sexual activity or to experience the pleasure of orgasm. Sexual dysfunctions are often consequences of earlier emotional issues.

We help people manage their emotions. If ignored, sexual problems can increase the likelihood of a partner's sexual affairs ... or divorce. Such problems can be caused by abandonment, betrayal, emotional incest, promiscuous behavior, parental alienation, affairs and abortions.

The emotions underlying sexual dysfunction often center on guilt, anger and anxiety, all of which can sustain terrible limiting beliefs and self-sabotaging inner dialog.

(Note: The only people that we met with Freud's classic Oedipus,
and Electra complexes had been psychoanalyzed or had
been trained in Freudian psychodynamic therapy).

Sexual Dysfunction

As sexual dysfunction often reflects relationship problems, we help many people achieve lasting results by helping solve relationship conflicts. We help people manage:

  • Hypersexuality (sex addict) - constant sexual arousal;
  • Erectile dysfunction - a man cannot sustain an erect penis;
  • Premature ejaculation - a man ejaculates faster than he wishes;
  • Vaginismus - a woman's vaginal muscles contract during intercourse;
  • Dyspareunia - a woman experiences significant pain during intercourse;
  • Anorgasmia - inability to achieve orgasm despite normal sexual stimulation;
  • Hyposexuality (inhibited sexual excitement) - sexual arousal only with difficulty;
  • Ejaculatory impotence (inhibited male orgasm) - a man cannot achieve orgasm in a vagina (although he may reach orgasm by masturbation).

Angle of Dangle ... Male Impotence

Approximately 10% of all men will one day be unable to achieve or maintain an erection, which means that they become unable to participate fully in sexual intercourse. This often seems to be a consequence of depression or chronic anger.

  • Common risk factors for male impotence include age, anxiety, stress & relationship conflicts.
  • Some drugs have side effects that can contribute to impotence. These include diuretics, tricyclic antidepressants, beta-blockers, and hormones.
  • Physical causes of impotence include trauma and disease such as: diabetes; pelvic surgery; spinal injury and glandular problems.

Erectile dysfunction may be expressed in early adolescence as an inability to achieve erection; but more commonly happens after years of normal function.

Ejaculatory impotence is a male inability to ejaculate within a sexual partner's vagina. An erection may be maintained for long periods, even after the partner has achieved orgasm. Ejaculatory impotence usually has an emotional basis which reflects relationship problems.

Millions of men now use Viagra to treat erectile
impotence & erectile dysfunction ... but ...

  • Viagra will not solve relationship problems
  • Viagra will not improve your relationship skills
  • Viagra side effects include facial flushes, headaches, digestive distress and a blue tinge to vision

Female Frigidity

Women who are not sexually aroused before or during sexual intercourse may be accused by men of being frigid. Such frigidity has three distinct symptoms:

  • cannot achieve orgasm (anorgasmia)
  • can achieve sexual arousal only with difficulty (hyposexuality)
  • does not enjoy sexual activity (either with a specific partner, or generally)

Female frigidity may be caused by sexual abuse, emotional incest, trauma, vaginal spasms or pain during attempted intercourse. As with men, female sexual response may be impaired by relationship problems and other emotional causes, or can be triggered by emotional conflicts, anxiety or other stresses.

I enjoyed mothering my husband until I felt that I was sleeping
with my son. At that point I couldn't make love with him
- and that's when I started having sexual affairs.

Emotional Blocks and Beliefs

Emotional blocks that limit sexual pleasure can take many forms. Negative emotions are often combined with limiting beliefs to form mental habits, such as:

  1. I can't ...
  2. I am helpless
  3. I am worthless
  4. I must be certain
  5. I am afraid of failure
  6. I worry about change
  7. I am scared of success
  8. I must punish my partner
  9. I am afraid of making mistakes
  10. I am angry about past disappointments

Emotional beliefs often seem to dictate or predict what people experience. Changing emotional beliefs can allow people to regain their lives.

My mother always said that sex was disgusting and humiliating, and that decent
women had to pretend to like it ... my husband had to threaten to leave me
before we got your help. And now ... well ... sex is wonderful.

Emotional beliefs are often relationship bonds ... ways of feeling connected to certain people. We help people to change limiting beliefs and emotional bonds.

Solutions for Sexual Issues

Left unresolved, sexual dysfunction increases the likelihood of partnership problems and depression. We help people alleviate mental discomfort or sexual dysfunction, especially if the dysfunction involves strong emotions or difficult relationships.

An important tissue is self-esteem ... if you dislike yourself, perhaps due to guilt after some betrayal or due to shame following abandoning someone, you may feel that you cannot enjoy life. Contact us to explore and change your negative emotions.

Please consult a physician about any opinions about Viagra,
impotence or other medical conditions.

We help many people manage their emotions and solve relationship problems, including sexual challenges. Contact us to solve emotional conflicts that limit or prevent partnership pleasure and sexual intimacy.

Online Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

I thought you were just another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 2004-2018
All rights reserved

If you like our work, please link to us. If you know someone who might benefit,
please mention or

For online help, email us at:

Soulwork systemic coaching in America & Hawaii


Soulwork systemic coaching in England, Wales & Scotland

Soulwork systemic coaching in Croatia & Serbia

Soulwork systemic coaching in Poland



Have You Suffered Enough?

 Where are you now? Understand your emotions, fixations and enmeshments
What do you hope for? Know your goals and stop sabotaging yourself
Do you feel resourceful? Learn to develop your inner resources
Do emotions block you? Relationship problems and mentor damage
Do your beliefs limit you? Change limiting beliefs and end dependence
Do you feel connected? Resolve identity issues to recover lost resources
Is your partner happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully)
Are your children healthy? Happy parents better manage family problems
Do you want team success? Team leaders and their teams develop together
Do you have complex goals? Specialty coaching, counseling & therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 1996-2018  All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers to help people solve emotional problems and relationship conflicts to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work - email