Entanglement refers to relationships in which one person
affects another person without direct interaction.
Are you Entangled?
Relationship entanglements can
hurt you. The most common symptom is that you feel irrational emotions ...
emotions that are more appropriate to another time, to another place or to another person.
Entanglements are very, very
You probably have many habits - things you do with little or no thought. Your ability to enjoy your life and your
relationships reflect your habits - and your habits reflect your personal
history, your family and cultural traditions ... and your entanglements.
Are You Entangled?
|You try to cling to a person
|You feel depressed without cause
|You identify with another person
|You pretend that you are someone else
|You project your prejudices onto someone
|You depend on someone who depends on you
|You must believe something to stay close to someone
|You behave as if a person
were someone else
Are you bothered by emotional reactions,
confusion or relationship habits following events such as
incest or abuse by therapists?
We help people free themselves from emotional and relationship problems. (See
Victim Identification and
Do you mourn a past relationship? Do you obsess about a past
partner - or potential partner? Do you try to relive old memories - again and
Do you sometimes act like a lost child or like a victim? Do you
often play victimizer, victim or rescuer roles? These role-playing games
can be intense and they have high stakes. You bet your life.
Cults, marketers and politicians may enmesh people to control
their behavior. So do many families. There may be rules, but often
the rules are taboo and cannot be discussed. In which of your relationships
is it against the rules to know the rules?
Some Signs of Entanglement
|Don't say what you mean
||Don't take yourself seriously
||Claim everything is your fault
||Never say "No"
|Don't mean what you say
||Tell people not to take you seriously
||Claim nothing is your fault
||Never say "Yes"
|Don't know what you mean
||Take yourself too seriously
||Avoid talking about yourself
||Lie, protect and cover up for people
|Apologize for being alive
||Are never sure what is being
||Talk too much
||Talk in self-critical, or hostile ways
|Only say what provokes people
opinions when people will agree
||Claim to sacrifice your happiness
||Cannot express emotions
Many people are manipulated by - and manipulate others by
- sex. People who provide sexual pleasure - often without
receiving pleasure themselves - expect some benefit. Other common entanglements
are in sales and marketing - good looking young women can be used to sell
just about anything.
- Do you initiate sex when you feel bad?
- Can you ask for what you want in bed?
- Do you withdraw from your sex partner?
- Do you have sex when you don't want to?
- Have you lost interest in sex?
- Is sex just robotic movements?
- Do you consider intimate affairs?
- Do you invent excuses to avoid sex?
Abuse . Sexual Solutions
. Sexual Issues
. Sexual Affairs
Are you addicted to your own emotions - even unpleasant ones -
or obsessed with hiding your emotions? Many relationship problems get worse over time,
symbiosis towards codependence. Codependence is a
common form of entanglement - and a step away from having no relationships at
A few questions about your emotions can indicate
your level of entanglement.
|Anger / Rage
||Fear / Anxiety
||Sadness / Melancholy
- Are you afraid of your own anger?
- Are you frightened of other people's anger?
- Do you hide or swallow your anger?
- Are you afraid of authorities?
- Do you fear being abandoned?
- Are you anxious about consequences?
- Do you proclaim your sadness?
- Do you punish people who make you sad?
- Do you feel guilty for feeling sad?
Entanglements often include avoiding or overloading
responsibility. Entangled adults often appear immature and childish, or may
obsess about other people's behavior. Protection is often a
small step from control. Mothering can become smothering.
Entanglements & Responsibility
- Do you give unwanted advice?
- Must you help people with problems?
- Do you obsess about people's needs?
- Do you only try to please other people?
- Do you feel victimized?
- Are you overly irresponsible?
- Do you only attract needy people?
- Are you attracted to needy people?
Intelligence is not wisdom. Intelligent people may feel
entangled if they cannot find logical solutions for problems that less
intelligent people cannot perceive.
Most people must suffer before they seek help. Have you suffered enough?
Are You Entangled?
- Elite: You feel that you are special
- Guilt: You cannot enjoy your success
- Loyalty: You cannot commit to a partner
- Confusion: You cannot identify your own needs
- Obsessive: You endure compulsions or addictions
- Impulsive: You act without considering consequences
- Emotions: You do anything to not-feel unpleasant emotions
- Distractions: You search for short-term fun - not lasting
Do you want a life based on emotional maturity?
Do you want to untangle yourself from other people's lives?
Do you want to Untangle Your Life?
I thought you were just
another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.
Plagiarism is theft. Copyright ©
Martyn Carruthers 2002-2018
All rights reserved.