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Steps to Emotional Freedom
End Emotional Slavery Martyn Carruthers

Online Relationship Counseling & Systemic Therapy

Is your heart free for healthy relationships and joyful emotions?
Do you want to manage your emotions and enjoy emotional freedom?

This is NOT any Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) you may have seen promoted.
We offer deep, lasting solutions for emotional and relationship problems.

Can you ENJOY being You?

Emotional freedom is not free. Emotional freedom comes with effort, to adults who are willing to manage their emotions and clarify their relationships. Emotional freedom is a natural result of untangling confusing relationships and ending self-sabotage.

  • Freedom from negative emotions
  • Freedom from blaming yourself and others
  • Freedom from identifying with someone else
  • Freedom from obsessions, compulsions and habits
  • Freedom from self-sabotage and self-defeating behavior

Emotional freedom includes freedom from excessive demands, criticism or discouragement. The damage caused by abuse often manifests as dependence, self-sabotage and passive aggression. Do you want to end dependence, and end being entangled in victim games in which you are never sure who is the victim.ccccccccccccc

Mother-Son Codependence . Father-Daughter Bonds . Parental Alienation

Emotional freedom applies mostly to managing your emotions, and your relationships with your parents and partners. Healthy relationships support your life, your motivations and your values - and motivate you to accomplish awesome feats.

You may know less about your own feelings than you do about your television guide (and few helping professionals seem to know their own emotions as well as they know their clients' emotions.)

Emotional Slavery

If you are enmeshed with abusive people, or with their victims, you will suffer. If you mistrust your feelings, if you deny the existence of your pain and conflict, you will suffer. Emotional freedom requires self-control. Do you ...

  •  allow people to dominate you?
  •  allow people to verbally abuse you?
  •  comply with their unreasonable requirements?
  •  accept their emotional outbursts and mood swings?
  •  let people manipulate you with guilt, sympathy and weird logic?

Steps to Emotional Freedom

Emotional slavery usually reflects chaotic relationships. You can find lasting emotional freedom - but not by playing games. Lasting solutions for relationship and emotional problems require more than wistful thinking. We can help you:

  1. Break old habits. How much pain have you already endured? Can you accept your hurt as "learning" - and journey toward healing?
  2. Examine fantasies and fears that keep you in bondage. Do you hope that help from esoteric agencies will solve your relationship problems?
  3. Become more honest - with yourself first, and then with other people. Assess your strengths and weaknesses with brutal clarity.
  4. Consider why you cling to habits that hurt you. Are you willing to change them? What are the possible consequences of change?
  5. Assess your shame and guilt. Make amends, learn your lessons, say Goodbye and move on. (We can help you change relationships with the living and the dead.)

We are not shrinks - we are stretches. We can help with your self-discovery and struggles, and help you find friends on your healing journey.

Consequences of Emotional Freedom

Instead of being silent, watchful and lonely you can feel comfortable in your body and in your relationships. You can be neutral or even friendly instead of passive or aggressive. We can help you find emotional freedom, especially if you want to ...

  • enjoy learning new activities
  • accept evaluations as feedback
  • see yourself as normal and appealing
  • deal with criticism, disapproval or rejection
  • increase interpersonal contact - enjoy social pleasures

Do You Play Games with People?

Emotional freedom means mature independence, as oppose to childish dependence. Do you play games with people's emotions? Are you afraid you may lose something that other people provide? Do you:

  1. Withhold essential information?
  2. Disguise your abuse as humor?
  3. Sabotage other people's dreams?
  4. Reinforce your own limiting beliefs?
  5. Trivialize thoughts and achievements?
  6. Contradict the other person's perspective?
  7. Make threats to increase your feeling of power?
  8. Invalidate the other person's reality and perceptions?
  9. Express anger to release tension and to feel powerful?
  10. Ignore promises, agreements or previous discussions?

People who are entangled with parents or other relatives
may be unable to live healthy, happy lives!

Sadly, some abusers are helping professionals such as doctors, therapists and healers (see therapist-client codependence). The consequences are the same.

From Emotional Slavery to Emotional Freedom

We can help you explore, manage and befriend your emotions. Together, we can explore how you can change the symptoms and the causes of confusion.

We help people manage their emotions and solve relationship problems.

Online Relationship Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork  Therapy

I thought you were just another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 2003-2018
All rights reserved.

If you like our work, please link to us. If you know someone who might benefit,
please mention or

For online help, email us at:

Soulwork systemic coaching in America & Hawaii


Soulwork systemic coaching in England, Wales & Scotland

Soulwork systemic coaching in Croatia & Serbia

Soulwork systemic coaching in Poland



Have You Suffered Enough?

 Where are you now? Understand your emotions, fixations and enmeshments
What do you hope for? Know your goals and stop sabotaging yourself
Do you feel resourceful? Learn to develop your inner resources
Do emotions block you? Relationship problems and mentor damage
Do your beliefs limit you? Change limiting beliefs and end dependence
Do you feel connected? Resolve identity issues to recover lost resources
Is your partner happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully)
Are your children healthy? Happy parents better manage family problems
Do you want team success? Team leaders and their teams develop together
Do you have complex goals? Specialty coaching, counseling & therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 1996-2018  All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers to help people solve emotional problems and relationship conflicts to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work - email