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Dissolve Emotional Blocks & Relationship Issues
Pull Yourself Together Martyn & Kosjenka

Online Life Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

Your maturity is a blessing for you, for your partner,
for your children and for your colleagues.

Emotional blocks can be you outside your awareness. They often reflect relationship problems or embarrassing experiences. They are often attached to unpleasant limiting beliefs that cause you to feel connected to important people - hence we often refer to them as bonds.

If you feel that life sabotages you - are you sabotaging yourself? Do you approach difficulties as lessons and challenges, or do you take them as proof of some unpleasant beliefs? History is full of people who experienced worse difficulties than you - and succeeded anyway - primarily because of their clarity, persistence and sense of purpose.

Origin of Emotional Blocks & Limiting Beliefs

Psychologists noticed that babies and toddlers are much more sensitive to nonverbal communication than adults (at the beginning of the 20th century it was believed that babies were not aware of physical pain, let alone emotional suffering). Children accept their experiences - including pain and suffering - as normal. Then they create conclusions (often exaggerated and generalized ideas) that become beliefs.

Babies have no prior experience by which to assess their world. They are more like sponges that absorb experience ... week after week, month after month, year after year. By the time they are adults, they won't remember their early experiences although they remember their emotions and beliefs.

That is why it's so difficult to understand what created these issues. Many people believe that having emotional problems means having been intentionally abused. But in most cases, children create emotional problems and limiting beliefs based on the behavior of family members, especially parents.

Many times we hear people say, "I don't remember anything unpleasant about my childhood" or "My parents always cared about me." And they are probably right! Still, we live in a challenging world and every child will experience some unpleasant situations. Many unhealthy behaviors, emotions and beliefs are spontaneously transferred from generation to generation.

Was your mother was warm and caring - but full of anxiety or guilt? If so, chances are that you believe that anxiety and guilt are normal. Maybe something was missing in your family - happiness, motivation, self-esteem, fun? If you always felt that something important was missing - the missing qualities may later manifest as obsessions.

Here is where we can help. We developed focused and effective ways to help people uncover and change what lies in their subconscious minds. We help people clear up a wide range of emotional and relationship issues - not only trauma, but unconscious fixations and identifications, long-term conflicts and unhealthy relationships.

Blocks, Beliefs & Goals

Your limiting beliefs and self-sabotage may become painfully obvious as you step towards your most important goals. This is why many people - unconsciously - avoid making clear goals.

Emotional blocks can prevent you being peaceful, happy and successful - and if you are successful - prevent you from enjoying your success. Most emotional problems are rooted in trauma, even blocks about a current problem or some potential crisis that hasn't happened - and maybe will never happen.

Emotional blocks include unpleasant feelings such as frustration, boredom, anxiety, sadness and irritation. People spend a lot of money trying to avoid these feelings ... enough to support multi-billion dollar industries that provide drugs and distractions.

Emotional blocks can create relationship and health problems. If you want to lead a full, integrated life and create the life experiences you truly want, you can learn to explore and transform the feelings that you have avoided or kept bottled up for many years.

When you feel unable to handle a crisis, do you feel emotions such as fear, anger, confusion, anxiety, guilt, or inadequacy? If in these moments you feel immature, you cannot think clearly about the crisis, and you may be unable find appropriate solutions. See Emotional Maturity

Limiting Beliefs

Emotional blocks are often intertwined with limiting beliefs. We often hear people say things like "I feel bad because I know I can't succeed; and I can't succeed because I feel so bad". Exploring emotions and changing beliefs needs either a lot of practice or help from an experienced coach.

If you pay attention to your inner dialog (self-talk), you may find beliefs that can lead to anxiety, irritation and depression. Such beliefs can sap your motivation and hinder or prevent you from finding creative solutions to your problems.

Positive and Negative Emotions?

In 20 years of helping people change emotional problems, I have never found a negative emotion. I have met plenty of people with negative emotions and feelings that they tried to get rid of, deny or forget. But never a negative emotion. I find nothing negative about anger, sadness fear or guilt, etc.

So-called negative emotions are supposed to include feelings such as: apathy, grief, fear, boredom, hatred, shame, blame, regret, resentment, frustration and hostility. Yet each emotion has at least one purpose and each has at least one blessing - in appropriate situations.

All emotions are right and justifiable in some context - and irrational in other contexts. So called positive emotions such as interest, enthusiasm, laughter, empathy, action and curiosity can get you into deep trouble in an inappropriate context.

Are you carrying negative emotions and limiting beliefs from your childhood?

Your Parents

Your parents were probably doing the best they knew how to do, entangled with their own parents and trying to give their children whatever they lacked when they were young. With good intentions, they may have given you emotional problems.

Do you feel bad about your parents' partnership, or remorse about their lost opportunities? We can help you unpack, explore and organize your emotional baggage.

Mature people know what they want, how they feel and why they feel that way. They find solutions to problems quickly. They have similar challenges to less happy people - but healthy people deal with them much faster. Healthy people don't get stuck for long ... they rarely sabotage themselves.

Emotional blocks and limiting beliefs can hurt you and the people you love. Entangled relationships with parents, grandparents, etc, can cause chaos and suffering. These enmeshments can diminish your ability to enjoy your life and your relationships.

Appropriate Emotional Reactions

We help people change emotional problems and limiting beliefs. Emotional blocks can include cultural and family values and beliefs that motivate or demotivate action.

We have many effective ways to help people safely untangle their emotional baggage and sort out their stuff. We help people change or replace their legacy of limiting beliefs, irrational emotions and unwanted habits ... with compassion ... and with humor.

Don't Recycle Emotional Blocks ... Change Them!

Your willingness to untangle your emotions and beliefs reflects your maturity and your mental health! The benefits of dissolving these issues include an increased feelings of wellbeing, relief, confidence and motivation. Contact us to find solutions for emotional problems and self-sabotage.

Online Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

I thought you were just another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers & Kosjenka Muk 2010 All rights reserved.

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Have You Suffered Enough?

 Where are you now? Understand your emotions, fixations and enmeshments
What do you hope for? Know your goals and stop sabotaging yourself
Do you feel resourceful? Learn to develop your inner resources
Do emotions block you? Relationship problems and mentor damage
Do your beliefs limit you? Change limiting beliefs and end dependence
Do you feel connected? Resolve identity issues to recover lost resources
Is your partner happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully)
Are your children healthy? Happy parents better manage family problems
Do you want team success? Team leaders and their teams develop together
Do you have complex goals? Specialty coaching, counseling & therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 1996-2018  All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers to help people solve emotional problems and relationship conflicts to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work - email