From Idealism to Success - Have you suffered enough?
Do you frequently say things like "It will turn out for the best", or
"If it's meant to be it will happen"? Do you believe that if
you act friendly toward the world - then unpleasant things cannot happen to you? Do you risk everything by taking unrealistic steps to fulfill unrealistic goals?
Do you try to add meaning to your life by
Contact us for help making realistic plans to reach your realistic goals.
Do you often quote
positive thinking slogans? Do you look for meaningful coincidences? If two things happen at the same time, do you believe that
entity is trying to tell you something? Do you dream of easily fulfilling
a wonderful goal?
Barbecuing Sacred Cows
Do you talk about how the world could be better ... if only more
people would work together and trust each other ... or if only they would just
follow your example?
We wanted to create a spiritual
retreat. We were so certain that God supported
our success that we went to Las Vegas to get the money. We lost everything.
That was three years ago and we are still paying off our credit cards.
Idealism can reflect the best of our love,
our dreams and our compassion. Yet such optimism is often a response to our suffering,
reflecting our desire to live a life that makes sense. Idealism can be an
attempt to protect ourselves from disappointments, a way in which we try to
understand the world so that we can remain hopeful and feel safe even in the
face of craziness, malice and suffering.
Idealism can motivate people to ignore their intuition,
feelings and intelligence. Such people might criticize other people
who can accept and express a full range of emotions, perhaps suggesting
that they should only experience life as joyful, happy, etc.
When I was a child, I spoke
as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child:
but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
Paul of Tarsus (Corinthians 13.11)
Idealism might motivate you to take extreme
risks (or to remain passive and not take the initiative when needed)
out of an attitude that "the universe WILL support me" or "God
won't let that happen". Perhaps you want to feel supported by life but you don't know how to cope with
setbacks or problematic people ... see
To get to the ideal - you
must first accept the real.
To get where you want to go - you must first know where you are.
Idealism and Realism
Many idealists perceive reason and logic as limited
tools that cannot encompass the totality of existence. Idealists may
not try to analyze the world — they may only interpret coincidences.
They may try to summarize all the complexities of existence into
affirmations or mantras - for example, "Everything is love".
My friend was an idealist
who wanted to help people. As her businesses failed,
she became increasingly bitter and
fearful of 'dark energies', criticizing and
almost everybody for the consequences
of her decisions. Spain
Realistic people tend to analyze reality
- they tend
to gather information from the real world, and not from fantasies. You may call them pessimists
- they may rain on your parade. You
may feel that you cannot share your dreams and aspirations with them. You
may feel that spiritual wisdom can guide you, and that
all you have to do is trust it ... but realists usually ask for evidence.
Some realists prey on idealists! Many cult leaders,
marketers, salespeople and military recruiters search for idealists. Parasitic
and military organizations often target teenagers, who
are especially vulnerable to calls for altruism or patriotism.
Idealism often leads to disillusionment,
and disillusionment leads to realism.
Many people go through this during their late teenage years.
People who are both idealistic and realistic can experience
inner conflict, which can be described as
two opposing states of mind ... people in conflict may jump back and
forth between feeling and thinking for example, or try to deny one
side of themselves.
Consequences of Idealism
We live in a world of interdependent nations, in an ecosystem where a
change of one factor may have massive consequences. In 2008,
for example, the failure of an American home mortgage company triggered a
global financial crisis and worldwide disillusionment with American
violate human rights. Idealists often wish to eradicate such atrocities
... perhaps by sanctions, invasion or regime change. You have
seen the consequences of those actions. Sometimes there are
no simple solutions.
I wanted to be a doctor to help people
but most of my post-graduate medical training was by
drug companies and I
feel more and more like their salesman ... I worry that my patients will
malpractice lawsuits against me ...
like many doctors I take anti-depressants. Florida
People who project their inner fantasies onto the outer world
risk disillusionment. Sooner or later, their dreams will
be tested by reality. If they see the world as a wonderful place
where only good things happen to good people, they will find
trouble ... perhaps sooner than later.
We meet many ex-idealists who lost their fantasies.
Afterwards they may step
into an angry depression and attack whatever
damaged their illusions.
When tested by reality, some people prefer
addictions to maturity. Addicts often cling to
their world-views, using drugs to maintain their fantasies. Societies and
countries can also become addicted, denying reality to pursue utopian dreams.
Which countries deny peak oil, overpopulation, loss of ecosystems, global warning,
super-bacteria and unhealthy food? What consequences do they face?
Depression and Maturity
Every time you communicate ...
you expose your maturity.
Idealism and disillusionment are often followed by depression,
anxiety and aggression. Does your life make sense? Are you scared of the future?
Do you blame other people for your lack of research? Are you angry with realistic
people who did not share your fantasy or who benefited from your naivety?
I am told that I am a visionary. The voices of Spirit promise me wonderful things
and assure me that I will become a special leader
who can heal the world ...
I am also diagnosed with schizophrenia ... New Zealand
Although disillusionment and depression may follow disappointments, the
underlying feelings and beliefs are often rooted in old relationship issues and
meaningless lives. We often help idealistic people set realistic goals and make
Accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those
who do not have it. George Bernard Shaw
Contact us to change
obsessions and compulsions
into ordinary temptations.
Online Life Coaching & Counseling for Recovering Idealists
I thought you were just
another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.
Plagiarism is theft.
Martyn Carruthers 2009-2018
All rights reserved.