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Teresa Mocna |
In 1998, I attended a course on
Systemic Coaching, presented by
Martyn Carruthers (Canada). I have since become a graduate and practitioner of this method. |
When training, Martyn continually demonstrates what he
teaches, giving many examples and supervising many exercises, so that we can
discover what is valuable in our own lives.
However, his articles reflect his technical background.
He tends to condense huge amounts of information into few words.
In his article Accelerated
Healing, he wrote, "I interviewed people who had spontaneous
remissions from serious disease, and hypnotically investigated their healing. Many times, in many ways, I heard people say, "The disease became my
friend", or "The pain became my teacher". It seemed that a person
could create a disease to obtain important benefits, and if a disease was fully
acknowledged and the benefits found in more enjoyable ways, the disease (symptoms)
might spontaneously vanish."
I started using Soulwork with my therapy clients and witnessed
these "vanishing
symptoms" many times, with physical, mental and emotional disease symptoms.
It is like magic! So let's unzip that paragraph! I will state
Martyn's key points and elaborate them with my experience:
- A person can spontaneously heal disease
- A disease can become a friendly teacher
- A person can create disease to obtain important benefits
- Disease benefits can be found in more enjoyable ways
- A disease might vanish (if the benefits are maintained)
1. People can spontaneously heal disease
Some people take medicine without a
cure and others take no medicine and a disease disappears. What is the
difference? Martyn's articles explore this question in depth!
2. A disease can become a friendly teacher
When I am sick, I am careful to
minimize pain and prolong periods of feeling good. In this way, pain, and the
absence of pain, strongly guide my behavior. Often a disease "makes" me do what
needs to be done - whether or not what "needs to be done" is comfortable.
3. A person can create disease to provide important benefits
What can be the benefits of a painful
and debilitating disease?
I carefully observed disease in my
friends, my clients and myself, and found two groups of benefits.
There are benefits for the person, and benefits for the person's
relationships. Each benefit gains something important - or avoids
something that was not wanted.
Here are examples of benefits! When sick, we:
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can take time to rest;
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can have time with important people;
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can understand an important person;
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can understand something important for development;
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can start being empathic - instead of being critical of people;
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can start being careful (instead of making accidents);
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can start to REALIZE deep desires;
-
may have time to complete a project.
We can also use a disease to AVOID something:
And, some examples of my relationship benefits! When we are sick:
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Maybe someone will treat us like children;
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Maybe someone will fulfill our responsibilities;
-
Maybe our family will stay together.
Some of these examples may seem
manipulative, but if we investigate them, we can see that a sick person is often
connected with other people in such a way, that the other people also
participate in their sickness. (Other people may have their own, often opposite, benefits.
For example "She only accepts my love when she is sick!")
4. Disease benefits can be found in more enjoyable ways
When we recognize the special
benefits gained through disease, we can discover that these special benefits can
be found IN OTHER WAYS! This can be a turning point for disease! Why suffer,
when we see happier ways to fulfill a wish?
If we know the benefits of a disease,
we can discover more enjoyable ways to have this benefit and we can learn to
use this new way in everyday life! What remains to be done? Accept a disease?
For what?
Here is the second turning point for
healing. Assume that some part of you, in the wisest way it could, chose the
disease to provide a benefit. All earlier work without accepting a disease, would be like saying, "I enjoy the benefits, and thanks for them, but the way
I get these benefits is stupid!"
Accepting disease means that we honor
ALL our ways to develop, all our aspects; even those that may seem stupid! In this moment, our door to integrity is
open. A disease can show us the way! We are ready to integrate!
5. A disease might vanish
Other people have healed disease -
why not you? To Accelerate Healing you can:
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Acknowledge your disease - as a way
to accept part of yourself!
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Recognize the benefits of your
disease
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Find supportive, creative,
enjoyable ways of reaching these benefits
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Learn how to use these new ways
everyday (what kind of abilities, different emotions, beliefs, things you
need? All this work is done in Soulwork very quickly!)
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Make adult decisions about obtaining the benefit (you
may use the disease to remind yourself to enrich this benefit in the future!)
Sometimes the benefits are not so
obvious - a common example is a disease that confirms your position in a family
tradition (this is often called "genetic disease")! While you are alive -
you have choice! You can sort out the benefits by yourself, with your friends
or with a trained Soulwork Coach.
If you email me, I will read your letters carefully. I recommend that you
attend a Relationship Coaching course, which are presented around the world.
Blessings to you!
Teresa Mocna, MA (Therapist and Soulwork graduate)
Do you want relationship coaching or systemic coach training? Do you want to coach people to resolve emotional and relationship challenges?
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