Some crab fishermen say that there is no need to cover buckets of live crabs.
If one crab starts to climb out of a bucket,
other crabs will pull it back.
Few crabs escape ... most are boiled alive and eaten.
Who holds you back?
Consider your family, colleagues and friends. Do
the people you live, work and relax with support
your values and goals? Do they support you - or do they attempt to block
your happiness and success? Do you feel trapped in a crab bucket?
Do some people limit your choices rather than
encourage you to fulfill your dreams? A Philippine lady said crab mentality means, “If I can't have it,
neither can you!”
Many people raised in unhealthy families consider their families
to be normal, and repeat their family's behaviors. Their lives may seem to
reflect their family's disappointments. We help people manage their emotions,
change the consequences
of their relationship problems and move on with their lives.
If family members pretend that they are
happy; if colleagues try to dictate how you should
behave; if obedience, compliance and power are more common than acceptance and
encouragement - then you probably understand crab buckets.
People in crab buckets often prefer obedience
Are you creating your life - or clinging to
childish myths? When you try to climb out of your crab bucket,
are you pulled back by crabs? Have you given up? And if
your children try to climb out of your crab bucket -
will you try to pull them back?
Freeing yourself from myths requires that
you recognize those myths. Other people may try to stop you, of
course, they may even prefer that you suffer. They may use threats
and guilt to obtain your compliance. Leaving codependent parents
or a symbiotic team may not be easy.
Yet if you want to live your own life, you will
probably leave the comfort of your parents' home. If you want to
build your own business you will probably leave the security of
organizational teams. And, as you build your own life, you can
create homes and teams that suit you.
Who holds your future hostage?
We perceive families and teams as living
systems - not just groups of individuals.
We evaluate relationships in terms of roles and responsibilities,
and we explore how people can better
work together rather than trying to fix individual members.
If you do not change problematic habits, you can
expect your fixations, obsessions and habits - and their consequences - to be
repeated by your children. We sometimes talk about family karma
and team karma ...
about people who avoid their own emotional baggage
- or who try to carry other people's dirty laundry.
You don't have to be this way
... we can help you change.
Your life includes coping with other people's problems: e.g. illnesses, accidents, premature deaths and missing family members. These events not only impact your
and your family's lives - if handled poorly these events can upset your descendents.
While families include feelings, beliefs,
responsibilities and goals; families are more often affected by their
perceptions of their behaviors, beliefs, values and justice.
The meanings given to events may be more important
than the events themselves.
If a family member is rejected (for any reason)
- this may not only hurt and humiliate the rejected member. Family members
touched by this rejection, even in subsequent generations, may try to
bring back the rejected family members, sometimes by adopting
or marrying substitutes for the missing person, or by
identification - by expressing emotions and feelings
more appropriate for the missing person.
We help people prevent the events and
tragedies of their ancestors being repeated by their children and grandchildren.
If you want to prevent cross-generational family enmeshment and
intergenerational fixations in your family, we can help you.
Medical Doctor's Perspective
We help motivated people improve their relationships. We can help you and your
family or team cope with emotional and relationship issues.
Most remedial approaches deal only with symptoms, and not with
systemic roots. Following such interventions, the system renews the
symptom or creates another, continuing to express the dysfunction.
People can be ill from the same illness repetitively, or from
successive similar diseases. Systemic coaching resolves the
fundamental imbalance; until the symptom spontaneously disappears.
Rooted in relationships are: physical illnesses,
compulsive-addictive behavior, mental blocks and repetitive life
crises. Ana Pejcinova, PhD
We cannot help everybody. Our methods may
be too intense for people with medical or psychological disorders. People
who may not benefit from our work include those who cannot or will not
participate, people in an emotional or
psychological crisis and people with cultural or religious
values that are opposed to counseling.
Some of our Resources