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Marriage Counseling & Couple Coaching
Solve Partnership Problems Martyn Carruthers

Online Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

Did you think that you left your parents' influence behind you when you grew up?
Most people seem to choose partners that are like their Moms or Dads.
We can help you change your relationship habits.

Escape the parent trap and change your beliefs!
We can help you untangle your lives and end self-sabotage.

Is Your Partnership Under Attack?

You become a true couple when you stand together before a community
and declare your commitment. A wedding ceremony symbolizes that commitment.

You are surrounded by toxic role models on TV and at the cinema. The lyrics of love music often sing of symbiosis, dependence and codependence. Advertisements try to persuade you that your happiness requires their products. The result? How many couples do you know who enjoy happy partnership?

Some companies make huge profits by selling short-term distractions. Politicians and cult members may try to persuade you that you  can only be happy if you support their their philosophy. Your independence and happiness may not support them.

Immature people have a special word for healthy partnership ... they call it boring! Immature people often prefer drama to health, distraction to peace, and short-term fun to lasting happiness. If you grew up in a family where drama and distraction were normal, you may be unable to enjoy committed partnership and parenthood.

Drug dealers do not prosper when their customers are healthy. They must convince you that you have a drug deficiency or wait for you to feel sick! But they don't have to wait long - most diseases are consequences of unhealthy lifestyles and unhappy relationships. Unhealthy has become normal!

Partnership Problems

If you try to create your marriage or partnership based on the role models offered by TV, movies etc, you will probably suffer problems until you find yourself choosing between separation or couple coaching. Only after you have suffered from partnership problems, are you likely to seek our couple coaching.

Real partners have real conflicts. Are you having problems with your marriage or partnership? Should you seek a marriage counselor or a relationship coach? Marriage counseling and couple coaching are not the same. Your choice may reflect the state of your partnership and the emotional state of you and your partner.

We can help you define your goals, explore blocks to those goals and change them during intensive sessions. Our coaching is often a better fit for couples who have busy work and family lives.

Marriage counseling can help you solve problems and understand your emotions. Our coaching can help you manage underlying fixations, relationship bonds and identity loss; and improve your partnership skills. We want you and your partner to enjoy happy and healthy relationships.

Partnership Conflicts

People who work or live together will have conflicts! And people can learn to resolve conflicts about goals, about what is good for children, about past trauma, betrayal, lost trust, lost intimacy, diseases, disabilities and relationships with important people, such as a partner's family.

Conflicts will happen, and most can be resolved. Rather than hiding conflicts and hoping that they will go away, we coach people to resolve most internal and external conflicts, by dissolving the emotional basis of conflicts (entanglements, transference, relationship bonds and trauma).

Hidden Emotions & Identity Loss

Do you or your partner hide conflicts and emotions? Do you pretend that you feel OK? Do you try to avoid breaking up your family over your suffering? Are you depressed, hiding your pain, hiding your fears, sadness and anger ... hiding much of who you are?

Do you feel like some parts of you have disappeared, and you don't know how to bring them back? Sooner or later your emotions will make you sick?

Marriage counselors can offer practical advice and help you understand your issues. But many problems have emotional roots. Partners disappointed by betrayal may not recover until the trauma is managed and trust is rebuilt.

We do not advise people to fight their own emotions, rather we coach people to solve relationship conflicts, exchanging unpleasant emotions disappear for a dynamic sense of life. An alternative is to accept counterfeit love or turn to medication.

We can coach partners to find and build a "Together Vision". We help partners discuss difficult topics while respecting each other. We coach people to manage blocks, and manage emotions. We coach people to live with integrity. Couple coaching works.

Most couples, even with horrendous situations, can build a happy partnership - if they decide that they both want happiness and are willing to work toward it. It may not be easy. It's almost always possible. We can help you achieve it.

  1. Do you both want a stable, happy partnership?
  2. Can you both commit to achieving your shared goal?
  3. Are you both willing to explore how to create happy partnership?

Couple Coaching or Marriage Counseling?

Couple coaching and marriage counseling attract people with different needs. Couple coaching is for people who want to change destructive habits, while marriage counseling may be better for people who want to understand their problems.

Good advice can be wonderful if you are in crisis with few resources and social problems. Good advice may help you feel better, at least for a while. But advice rarely changes habits. It is easy to advise you, for example, to "be brave" when you are suffering from sexual or physical abuse.

Good advice may not help if you feel overwhelmed by emotions, such as anger, fear or sadness, if your communication is poor or if either of you feels under duress.

The best of intentions, prayer and esoteric advice will likely have temporary results. Short-term results lead to disappointment and mentor damage; you may decide that all helping professionals are manipulative, immature or liars.

Marriage Counseling Our Couple Coaching
  • is based on logic
  • focuses on good advice
  • concentrates on changing behavior
  • concentrates on changing specific actions
  • supports action which follow societal beliefs
  • is based on integrity
  • focuses on sense of life
  • concentrates on partnership goals
  • concentrates on changing family habits
  • supports the happiness of a couple

We can support your individual growth and self-development. Are you willing to build to develop your partnership maturity? Will you allow yourself to be happy?

Happy people may not have everything; yet they make the most of everything.
Happiness seems reserved for those who can love, appropriately and in full measure;
for those who want to appreciate and encourage other people in their lives.

Online Couple Coaching, Counseling & Soulwork Therapy

I thought you were just another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 2007-2018
All rights reserved.

If you like our work, please link to us. If you know someone who might benefit,
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For online help, email us at:

Soulwork systemic coaching in America & Hawaii


Soulwork systemic coaching in England, Wales & Scotland

Soulwork systemic coaching in Croatia & Serbia

Soulwork systemic coaching in Poland



Have You Suffered Enough?

 Where are you now? Understand your emotions, fixations and enmeshments
What do you hope for? Know your goals and stop sabotaging yourself
Do you feel resourceful? Learn to develop your inner resources
Do emotions block you? Relationship problems and mentor damage
Do your beliefs limit you? Change limiting beliefs and end dependence
Do you feel connected? Resolve identity issues to recover lost resources
Is your partner happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully)
Are your children healthy? Happy parents better manage family problems
Do you want team success? Team leaders and their teams develop together
Do you have complex goals? Specialty coaching, counseling & therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright Martyn Carruthers 1996-2018  All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers to help people solve emotional problems and relationship conflicts to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work - email