Training & Telephone Coaching for Managers & Leaders  Case Histories

Solutions for Child Abuse & Family Violence

Advanced Systemic Solutions with Martyn Carruthers

What is Child Abuse?

There is no accepted definition of child abuse or cruelty to children. This results in confusion about which behaviors and intentions are abusive. Decisions to label a person or family as abusive are usually made by legal or health professionals, using different criteria. The situation is further confused by differences between physical abuse, emotional abuse and neglect. Because of this, the prevalence of child abuse is difficult to measure.

A useful definition of an abused child is: "any child who receives non-accidental physical injury as a result of acts or omissions on the part of his parents that violate the community standards concerning the treatment of children." (Parke and Collmer, 1975)

Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child

Severe child discipline can be traced back to ancient Greek, Roman and Jews, when slaves were the property of their owners and children were the property of their parents. Only in the 20th century did cruelty to children become regarded as a problem - only after cruelty to animal legislation.

Consequences of Child Abuse

The effects of child abuse range from hurt feelings and superficial wounds to permanent behavioral, emotional and mental impairment, especially following sexual abuse. Other long-term consequences are that abused children often become adults who abuse or neglect children.

[ Emotional Incest . Sexual Abuse . Incest ]

Abusive Parents

There is no single abusive personality. Only a small percentage of abusive parents have severe mental health disorders or extreme religious beliefs. However, most abusive parents lack relationship skills - they often lack friendship skills, teamwork skills, partnership skills and parenting skills. Their relationship skill deficiencies often include problems coping with stress and emotional self-control.

Prevent & Remedy Child Abuse

A common goal of change strategies is to improve parenting skills. However, if people can healthily evaluate their own family members, and develop friendship skills, teamwork skills and partnership skills, they are likely to develop healthy parenting skills.

[ Parent Coaching . Parent Alienation ]

In Soulwork systemic coaching, the prevention and treatment of abuse begins with helping people evaluate their families. This is achieved through relationship diagnosis in which a person's subjective evaluations of family members can be recorded as a family matrix.

Following relationship diagnosis, a Soulwork coach and client work together to plan which will be the first relationship clarified ... which next ... and so on. In this way, each clarification helps people sort out their behaviors, emotions, compulsions, conflicts, relationship bonds and the effects of trauma.

[ Relationship Bonds . Trauma & PTSD ]

Build Interpersonal Skills

Soulwork coaching begins with evaluating and clarifying relationships with family members (living, missing and dead). Most people want to improve their interpersonal skills to have better relationships. Communication skills help build lasting friendships and improve working relationships. Good communication skills are a firm basis for partnership and parenting.

1. A first step to effective communication is to know your values and your goals.
2. A second step is to express yourself appropriately within different types of relationships (with parents, siblings, friends, colleagues, etc).
3. A third step to effective communication is to appropriately respond to relationship challenges and stress. A useful goal direction is to stay resourceful in chaos.

Communication Training

Systemic Coach Training provides models that life coaches can use to prevent, alleviate or control the unpleasant consequences of child abuse and emotional incest. Soulwork training provides proven ways to dismunication skills are a firm basis for partnership and parenting.

1. A first step to effective communication is to know your values and your goals.
2. A second step is to express yourself appropriately within different types of relationships (with parents, siblings, friends, colleagues, etc).
3. A third step to effective communication is to appropriately respond to relationship challenges and stress. A useful goal direction is to stay resourceful in chaos.

Communication Training