Drugs are not demons and addicts are not defective. Millions of people
are addicts - not only to heroin, morphine, amphetamines, tranquilizers and
cocaine, but also to alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, masturbation, sugar, steroids,
work, theft, gambling and sex. Addiction is common.
The consequences of addiction include damaged health, lost relationships
and profound suffering. Yet, if you ask an addict, “Why do you to do this?"
their answers seem incomplete. “I drink to forget what happened”.
“I smoke to avoid being fat”. “Gambling is in my blood.”
You will hear, “I can stop anytime – I just don’t want to”.
Your relationship with an addict includes your
relationship with that person's addiction - and with its consequences. A
partnership with an addict may require your participation. If you help an
addict stay addicted - you may be a drug-dealer, a casino operator or more
likely - codependent.
It is easy, and pointless, to blame an addict, an addictive
behavior or the codependent people who benefit from addictions. But
blaming rarely helps. Soulwork systemic coaching offers effective
long-term solutions to help people who want to end their addictions and
compulsions.
[ Stress Disorders . Divorce and Children .
Parent Alienation]
Soulwork Systemic Coaching
Systemic coaching offers ways to change the
emotional impact of memories; in a complete system of life coaching for
individuals, couples, families and teams. Soulwork can help you improve your relationships,
resolve guilt, experience a profound sense of integrity and connectedness, and find
your life goals. We can help you resolve - relationship bonds,
emotional trauma and
mentor damage.
Addiction: Benefits & Characteristics
Although chemical dependency may result from experiments with
addictive substances, few experiments result in
addiction. Common benefits of addictions are:
- to experience pleasure
- to avoid boredom, pain or unpleasant emotions
- to fulfill the desires of an ancestor's or family member
- to maintain a dependent or codependent relationship
Addictive relationships are in a different category and indicate relationship
bonds and transferences. Soulwork systemic coaching can help people resolve
these relationships very quickly.
Overwhelming Emotions
If you suffer unpleasant emotions or self-talk, including guilt,
boredom and frustration, then a substance or activity
that reduces your unpleasant emotions (and unpleasant self-talk), even for
a short time, may become addictive. This includes activities called obsessive
or compulsive, such as hand-washing, obsessive counting,
compulsive working (workaholic) and gambling.
 |
Long term relief from unpleasant emotions can be found by
resolving relationship issues - short term relief is found by distracting
attention, finding stronger sensations (than
the unpleasant feelings) or numbing the senses. If this relief becomes
addictive, the consequences can be worse than feeling bad. [
Before & after addiction - from BBC News ] |
Systemic coaching helps you find emotional freedom, by accepting your
emotions, pleasant and unpleasant, as meaningful communications - that
offer useful information about other relationships.
Self Control
Perhaps you suffer internal conflict. You may say “Part of me
wants to do this, but another part of me wants to do something else”.
Such “parts” communicate within emotions and behaviors. Expressing
hidden emotions may fulfill a part of you that is lost or hidden.
Conscious acknowledgement and internal mediation can bring peace. You CAN
make peace with your “parts”.
Difficult Relationships
If a family needs a victim, a family member may fulfill
a victim role with an addiction. If a person with a family background of addiction
wants a relationship with an addict – addiction may seem normal. Many
codependent people (and some therapists) are addicted to helping addicts.
(Some therapists help addicts to atone
for their inability to help an addicted family member when the
therapist was a child, or to avoid their own bad feelings resulting from
emotional incest.)
Systemic diagnosis provides a key to unlock the doors of many
addictions. Systemic coaching can dissolve relationship entanglements; and the
addictions that follow them.
Trauma & Abuse
Many people want to forget some horror. It could be the
horror of a war, the horror of being an unwanted child, or the horror of
being abused. If people want to forget their lives -
identity loss can be a blessing.
|
“When I smoke crack, I forget who I am, for a time!” This man had
identified with his (aborted) dead sibling, and experienced the sadness of a baby
killed by its parents. These feelings grew until adolescence, when the man started
self-medicating with illegal drugs.
This spiraled into cocaine addiction. Once the underlying dead
person identification was resolved, the use of cocaine lacked emotional
benefits, and was a "bad dream" a few months later. |
Role Models
Many people look for inspiration in the lives of others.
Many children “follow” a parent and try to duplicate their lives. A
teenager may "follow" a sport figure
or music star. If the model is an addict, a person may “follow” the model
into addiction. An avid fan might use drugs to be more like a successful
model. Employees may overwork to show loyalty to a workaholic manager.
|
“I gamble because my mother did - I have
no control - it’s genetic”. Gambling
helped a daughter understand, accept and share life
experience with a difficult mother. Once the relationship was
corrected with Soulwork systemic coaching, the two women could accept
each other. They reported
that their experience of mother-daughter relationship reached
"unbelievable highs". |
Systemic Coaching & Addictions
Soulwork addiction coaching can help people identify and dissolve the
advantages of many addictions and find steps to long-term recovery. Soulwork
addiction coaching can help people accept, acknowledge and heal their situation
- and regain a sense of life.
Consult your physician
about any opinions or recommendations about medical symptoms or other medical
questions.
Do you want relationship coaching or
systemic coach training?
We can train you to coach individuals, partners and teams to resolve a wide
range of emotional, educational and relationship challenges.
Copyright Martyn Carruthers 1997-2009 All rights reserved
