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Systemic Psychology & Mentorship
We Mentor Mentors © Martyn & Kosjenka

Online Mentorship & Training for Helping Professionals

Freeing yourself from your habitual emotions, beliefs and fixations
requires more than logical decisions ... such change requires mentorship.


Most people will forget 
your words.

They will remember your maturity and integrity.

We specialize in helping people resolve emotional and relationship problems. We also act as advisers, role models, advocates, guides, listeners, provocateurs and facilitators. About half of our clients are themselves counselors or therapists and we often mentor them in how to apply systemic psychology with their clients.

Counseling is not mentoring although a counselor might also be a mentor or a role model. Building and maintaining these relationships require different skills.

Counselor Mentor Role Model
You assist people to clarify and achieve specific goals. You are expert in goal definition and resolving blocks to success. You help people improve their lives.
You have expertise in the topic or you are expert in helping people develop skills, attitudes and relationships.
You are a useful model for behaviors or skills that people want to emulate or replicate.

Who are Mentors?

We listen to you carefully, and tailor our assistance to your desires and needs. We can help you define your goals, resolve emotional issues and solve relationship conflicts. We can help you explore your life purpose and develop your integrity.

Quality mentoring requires expertise in both content and process - creating space, gathering information and giving feedback. This may include responding appropriately to verbal and non-verbal behavior, conversational changework, dreaming together and hypnotherapy. We also provide accelerated learning and expert modeling.

Benefits of Being Mentored

We often assist helping professionals to master our systemic psychology. Systemic Psychology transcends techniques, rather it offers wide world-views. Some benefits of our mentorship are:

  1. Increased expertise
  2. Candid, constructive feedback
  3. Ongoing support and encouragement

Benefits of Being a Mentor

Do you want to mentor others? Both mentors and their protégés can develop their experience and improve their skills together, and improve both their professional and private lives. Some of the benefits of being a mentor are:

  1. Satisfaction
  2. Developing your own skills
  3. Expanding your own knowledge and expertise

Functions of Mentorship

Our systemic psychology and mentorship overlap, but they are not the same. Our coaching, counseling and our mentorship helps people develop. As coaches, counselors and therapists we are approachable and available. Mentorship goes another step and can be applied to most human abilities and excellence, including.

  1. Mastering specific skills
  2. Building experience safely
  3. Gaining knowledge and information
  4. Enjoying support and encouragement

Choosing a Mentor

When selecting mentors for your work and your life, consider people who:

  1. have experience in mentoring
  2. understand relationship dynamics
  3. are committed to their own development

Mentor relationships can empower your personal and professional growth. We can discuss possible opportunities for accelerating your development. What are your:

  1. expectations for both mentors and their protégés
  2. goals and objectives for both mentors and protégés
  3. strengths and weaknesses, and what do you wish to improve

Expect mentors to engage in some of these activities:

  1. Giving you specific behavioral feedback
  2. Helping you explore ways to build on your strengths
  3. Exploring your concerns about the skills you wish to develop

Feedback is a powerful tool. After your work, we can discuss what happened and share observations as we plan the next steps of your development. Together we can explore ways to further improve your relationships.

Mentorship Phases

Long-term mentorship has four phases: initiation, cultivation, independence & redefinition (Kram, 1985).



Initiation Both mentor and protégé develop expectations.
Cultivation Both mentor and protégé test their expectations and clarify boundaries.
Independence As the need for mentorship fades, they may experience confusion and loss.
Redefinition They may become friendly peers, resentful competitors or ignore each other.

Mentor Damage & Transference

If you use clients as substitutes for friends, partners or children; relationship transferences become common and separation can be painful. When these transferences evaporate, both you and your clients may experience unpleasant emotions and then resent or avoid each other.

Inappropriate mentorship and mentor damage are common, and can hurt both the mentors and the mentored. People damaged by mentors often assume that more mentorship will produce more damage. We can help you remedy mentor damage.

Do you want to resolve emotional and relationship issues?

Online Systemic Coaching, Counseling & Therapy

I thought you were just another therapist - but you were not just. Not even. Not only.

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers & Kosjenka Muk 2009-2018
All rights reserved.

If you like our work, please link to us. If you know someone who might benefit,
please mention or

For online help, email us at:

Soulwork systemic coaching in America & Hawaii


Soulwork systemic coaching in England, Wales & Scotland

Soulwork systemic coaching in Croatia & Serbia

Soulwork systemic coaching in Poland



Have You Suffered Enough?

 Where are you now? Understand your emotions, fixations and enmeshments
What do you hope for? Know your goals and stop sabotaging yourself
Do you feel resourceful? Learn to develop your inner resources
Do emotions block you? Relationship problems and mentor damage
Do your beliefs limit you? Change limiting beliefs and end dependence
Do you feel connected? Resolve identity issues to recover lost resources
Is your partner happy? Build healthy partnership (or separate peacefully)
Are your children healthy? Happy parents better manage family problems
Do you want team success? Team leaders and their teams develop together
Do you have complex goals? Specialty coaching, counseling & therapy

Plagiarism is theft. Copyright © Martyn Carruthers 1996-2018  All rights reserved. Soulwork Systemic Coaching was primarily developed by Martyn Carruthers to help people solve emotional problems and relationship conflicts to achieve their goals. These concepts and strategies are for general knowledge only. Consult a physician about medical conditions and before changing medical treatment. Don't steal intellectual property ... get permission to post, publish or teach Martyn's work - email